As Benito says, makes not a bit of difference really. If W is selfish, abusive, bitter, resentful, whatever you are of no concern to her. I'm coming up on 5 months since W left, no talk of R, wants D, no idea on OM, not a single call since she left and when I did see her she could never look me in the eye so I can relate to much of what you all say...all in the same boat unfortunately. I could drive myself crazy wondering why and what she's thinking and to be fair even several months on I cycle through memories, why/how she left, the whole deal. Somehow as time goes on you must find a way to put yourself 1st. Generally I think your W will help you along that path the most as you experience more of their abusive behavior, actions, crazy. You will just want to be free of all that to save yourself. I have a young D so the guilt/pain of feeling she will have a broken family and no memories of her parents together destroys me. BUT in those times I have to remind myself that I have been always willing to do whatever I could to save my R with my W, but W has made this HER CHOICE to end the MR and seek D. The most solace that any of us may end up with from this tragic time is that we each were committed to our MR and would have done anything we could to save it.
I pray for all of you, trust me you are not alone, we are walking much the same path together.
