There is no law out there that says you CAN’T put a lot of time and distance between yourself and your H! You do not have to make the decision on whether or not this marriage is something that you want right now. After all, he took his time in making that decision when it fell onto his shoulders, did he not?
Until you feel comfortable in the decision making process, I think no decision is a better route to go.
What happened to the exchanging Rhane and daycare plan? That might be better off right now, so that you both have time to sit down and think hard on what you are and are not willing to work with in this marriage without getting keyed up about seeing the other one. Trust me, if my daycare situation allowed for it, I’d be all over that plan – if for no other reason that I didn’t have to have the gut wrenching tearful goodbye from the children!
Let’s move back to basics for a little bit. What can YOU do to work on YOU? What type of things put you in a clearer mindset to make a decision when one is at hand, and what types of activities can you do when you need a break from the thinking and decision-making? I think that those goals will give you a sense of relief in the midst of this crazy turmoil.
If you are feeling guilty about your H's current state of mind, my suggestion would be to inform him that step #1 is to get his rear-end in counseling. Regardless of whether this marriage is going to work, he needs it.
"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
--Agnes Repplier, writer and historian
