Here is the rub, a good person? How do you know?

You make judgements, value judgements. Having been in one amazing R and M, one with a cheater who wanted to explore his sexuality and finally the Giggleo.

Clearly the last The G wasn't a good person although he pretended to be and was a master at that pretence. I made a value judgement on it and it was wrong. He appeared to be a good person and wasn't. On paper he seemed to be. But he was a compulsive gambler, smoker, drinker and womanizer. A rageoholic who nearly killed me and who stole my money. Sued me on D for half my assets having wasted his. I was raped, bullied and manipulated. Should I stay M to that person? No. For two years we dated (and lived together) there was NO evidence of the behaviour that became the norm. And I just 'Marry Him', exactly the philosophy that got me into trouble.

I do not believe that any healthy M with someone of this type is possible. I took the philosophy of Marry Him. I thought he was a 'good person', a widower with a deceased son and a reasonable job. Within 3 months of M, he had spent all his money, lost his job because he wasn't going into work spending his days gambling instead, stealing money and I learned that he might have smothered his first wife whilst she was dying of cancer, all his qualifications are bogus too.

Just Marry Him doesn't work in all cases. It didn't in mine.

H2 was a gentleman in every way, but he cheated with almost everyone in sight, but he was a 'nice guy'. I stood for it for 20 years and finally after hearing that he wanted to explore his sexuality in Thailand, I said enough. Stay M? No thank you. Ironically after two years of D, which was amicable and civilised, H2 decided he wanted his M back. It was 10 years in before I found out he was Mr Cheater Pants, whilst living in a sexless M because 'I don't want to put your health at risk V'. I stuck it out but it didn't change. I wasted my life. I should have walked at year 10 not year 20.

In your eyes Zues, your sister may have wasted her life but I don't see it that way. Each R is a learning curve part of our growth.

And there are great matches out there.

V

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW