First, your thread title is not correct. Because you are right you haven't been DBing. I see nothing in your post that is anywhere close to detachment, GAL, and 180ing. I see impulse, I see emotion. Pretty much the opposite of detachment, GAL, and 180s.

Second, you are trying to make sense of the senseless. There are no explanations for why a person go back on their vows, vows they took for a lifetime, and breaks the hearts of not only the one they pledged their love to, but so many others that are on the periphery of that relationship.

MLCs are no excuse. Many men go through MLCs and do not leave their wife and kids. Losing a father and a brother are no excuse. Many have lost parents and siblings and not left their wife and kids.

Jlh, your husband told you something very important. He said he "felt pressure". WASs recoil from pressure. They flee from pursuit. Especially when they catch themselves have a weak moment.

For instance, your husband sees that pictures have been taken down. It hurts him. He takes a step TOWARDS the MR as result. But then you invite him to therapy. PRESSURE. He takes 3 steps back from the MR.

The classic mistake the DBing LBS makes is to take a positive, and use it as an excuse to pressure and pursue. DBing requires patience and consistency. The worst thing you can do is get impatient and drop the consistency. Or to see a positive and think pursuit and/or pressure can suddenly work. CONSISTENCY.

You tell him you got a job. He tells you that he is moving forward with the paperwork for the D. You let it run off your back like water off a duck. DETACHMENT. He comes to pick up your son for the night. You see him sad about pictures coming down. More water off the duck. Instead of mentioning therapy you are dressed to the nines. You are wearing perfume. Your make-up is done. If he asks you are going out. GAL!! He texts you with information. Not a question! YOu don't respond. 180! He texts you with a question. You answer in as few words as it takes. Even if it is just yes or no. 180!!

Detach. GAL. 180. If you aren't doing that then you aren't DBing. It isn't that DB isn't working, it is jlh isn't DBing.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018