Andrew, This is a good post for me to read. As this is all fresh and probably like yourself years ago never thought in a million years that you'd be going through this. Right now you're right, I have all these hopes that it will all turn out and she will wander back. Today, I need to stop waiting around for her to change her mind by herself. She found someone else that will only fulfill a few things. Of course I hope her fantasy dreams come crashing down soon and then my fantasy is she comes back and I get to make a choice...right? wishful thinking.
Right now I really think I need to detach some how. With 4 young kids it will be very difficult. But she knows I am waiting for her. She knows that I be a pursue. I don't want to say anything to her. I feel like I just need to start GAL on my life...but scared to death of letting go after a 17 year marriage. I have to remember she doesn't want to be with me right now and there's nothing I can say or really do for her to change her mind. I am at the end of the road and she wants the D.
What do you think about the fact that she has Kidney failure going on right now? She still goes to work for now. But she is on the List to get a kidney. We have a few friends that are getting tested for a match. Either way she has along road ahead of her. She asked if I would be there to support her. It was a weak moment but I said of course I would do everything I could. Now the OM. The only thing I know about him is he is single, he is a co worker and 5 years younger. What would he see in a 38 year old married woman with 4 kids and a serious health issue? He must be hard up but everyone says it will never last!! So I wait...or go detach mode.
Her side of the family usually plans a week camping trip the end of Aug. This year no one could do it. My sister has a cabin that can fit a few families. So my wife asked if we and her family could do a weekend instead of the camp trip. I agreed and set it up. Then she says she wants divorce but the trip is still on. It feels like HELL doing things when I'm stuck thinking were still married to a loveable wife but in reality she is a distant cold stranger right now. But maybe that will give me the opportunity to act like I've moved on etc. who knows?
ME 47 W 38 M17 T20 Separated 5/20/18 D-bomb 7/9/2018 Nothing Filed 4 kids ages 6, 10, 14, 15
