Unfortunately, I can only accept ‘what is as it is’ to a point, because ‘what is’ is negatively affecting my children as well as myself. Since the beginning of this process, I have learned to accept many of my H’s flaws for what they were…but there are some that remain as deal breakers for me.
At the beginning of our joint thread venture, I posted some things that I would consider. I mentioned that they weren’t necessarily things that I liked or agreed with, but that I would consider. I have. There are some behaviors that I simply won’t accept. And if it means that I will have to get down from the exercise bike and try running…then that is what I fully intend to do.
Nonetheless, I have committed to complete detachment by going dark and being upbeat and happy when I do speak or interact with my H. However, I am not initiating that interaction. So far, I think I have good progress to report. Yesterday we didn’t hear from him all day, and I didn’t mind one bit. Today when he picked up the children he was late, but I was still upbeat and happy about it. Since this is truly my last ditch effort, it is a lot easier to not pay specific attention to detail. I suppose they call that, detachment!
"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
--Agnes Repplier, writer and historian
