WAW - Managing Limbo Period Pt 2

[40free]

Steve - thanks so much for yet another comprehensive reply. I don't know where you find the time, and I see you posting in lots of other threads too. You must have such an understanding W...

I think you're right - if there's any hope of R (which I don't think there is, but anyway...), then omitting the information regarding her A is critical, but it's more about the kids in my mind. As much as she deserves no good grace from me, it doesn't mean I should belittle her in the eyes of my children. She is still their mother, and although clearly a terrible role model (once they find out the truth), she is actually a very good mother. Very good. She dotes on the three of them, with a (metaphorical) firm hand when needed, and they are for the most part lucky to have her. I don't want to change that, or how they see her just out of spite. I'm better than that, even if she isn't.

40, is your W's A still ongoing? If so, people are not dumb. Once she is on her own and in the arms of OM, people will put 2 and 2 together.

She says not. And I think not. Just from what I observe of her behaviour. Doesn't mean she won't go back to him, either when she finally leaves the house or before, but for now, no. The truth is going to come out at some point anyway - maybe not for a while, but it will come out.

I appreciate the anecdote from your sitch, and your perspective that this might not be over just yet, even though it feels like it. I'm minded to have some belief in that perspective, as you have been somewhat of an inspiration given the outcome of your sitch. From reading your thread (I'm now fully up to date), I take the positives from what you have achieved through hard work (which is amazing btw). I will keep on DB'ing through all of this, and if by some miracle there is a change of heart on her side, so be it, but if not, I'll still be a better man for it. I'm already a better man tbh. The changes I've instigated, the work on my NGS issues, the improvement in my level of fitness and physique - all for the good.

I do feel positive about the future at times - once I get over my wobbles - and I know I'll be ok eventually. Just taking one day at a time, and focusing on the kids welfare for now. Then we'll see.