Going back a few weeks, I bought a pound of lunch meat on a Friday night. We had closed on the new house but the previous owners had requested 15 days of occupancy. The next morning, (Saturday) the previous owners contacted us to let us know they'd be turning over keys the next day. This launched a week's worth of moving preparations, including making trips back and forth with loads (mostly garage and pole-barn items) to prepare for the big move the following Saturday. Which means we did a lot of eating on the road grabbing food (unfortunately a lot of fast food too), and the lunch meat essentially went bad. $9 worth.
So last night I get home and go out to cut the new house's grass for the first time. It has a LOT of grass to cut, about 3 acres worth. But luckily I have a zeroturn that motors really fast so it only takes about 2 1/2 hours to do the entire thing. So I got done and went into the house. W asks if she can make me anything. I say no, you are busy (she is still unpacking and organizing and hanging things on the walls, etc), I'll grab something. So while I am heating up some leftovers, I open the trash lid to throw something away and see a fast-food cup on top.
So I ask her if they had eaten that. She said yes, that when they ran to the store to get some things for painting, they stop there for a bite to eat. I said "so you ate that when we have lunchmeat going bad in fridge". Last week we had all gone grocery shopping in our new town and had picked up a pound of lunch meat.
It was a bad moment. The type of moment that would have occurred prior to BD. I was so tired last night I didn't think much about it.
But this morning it was eating me. So when I got to work, and shet got up for the day, I called an apologized. I explained that I was projecting about the lunch meat I had bought prior to the move that had gone bad. And that there was nothing wrong with them grabbing the food they grabbed while out.
So while I slipped up, I think she was much more open to my apology due to the changes since BD. She thanked me and then we went on to chat about other things. I feel good about the resolution, though I am 2x4ing myself on the slip.
I keep thinking about sandi's rules..."Don't backslide and give up ground on hard earn changes." Lucky not much ground was given up, but I need to resolve to be better since compounding slip-ups have a cumulative effect.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
The very fact that you realize your slip up and then apologized shows your changes Steve. In fact if you never had a slip up how would she know it’s not all just pretense and that you are not keeping things bottled up? This way she knows you felt what you felt re-evaluated and then apologized, more genuine if you ask me - arshi
Mach1, you sometimes are too vague for me though. I am not sure what you meant by that.
Vague ??
I hadn't heard that : )
Hell, Cadet still doesn't understand me : )
I dunno buddy, to me, everything in life is a lesson. Albeit good or bad, it is a chance to learn.
Everything is an analogy, everything has a chance to teach perspective.
In part, it was a joke.
Would you trade Ham for Marriage ???
So it musta been some good Ham if you were gonna do that huh ???
So more thoughts on how to be different....
Lighten things up a bit.
You have (and she) spent the better part of two years dealing with crapload after crapload of continuous pressure in some form or another. Whether its been the marriage, the move, the house, your g-string too tight...
Whatever the form....
Lighten up, and relax a bit....
TRUST THE PROCESS......
You have been so immersed into "relationship" for so long now, that you over analyze every little thing.....
Mach, just an update. I had designs to ask her out on a date last night. Unfortunately, I've done something to aggravate my sciatica (I am sure it was the lifting and moving of things related to the move). Also, I've been fighting a bug and have been crashing hard each night ~8pm.
So I will ask her out for next week one night. We both need to get away together and just decompress a bit.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
