MY TRAGIC WAW STORY PART X

[ItHurts]

Very true Steve. That frank conversation is inevitable for sure. Certainly this ambiguity can't go on forever as I'm fine being single for Summer; I don't really want to be committed at the moment, but once the Fall hits I plan on dating a bit more heavily and looking for a girlfriend. Once that time comes then it will also be the point where WAW and I will either decide to start working on R or I walk and bid her farewell. For now I'm playing the field anyway so this WAW business is fine but once it's time for me to really look for a realtionship...she's going to have to make a decision. It's either we discuss working on R or we say goodbye and go our separate ways. I will have no guilt in that as I've told her already that once i start dating someone that I'm serious about our "friendship" will cease. But for now it's still Summer, I'm enjoying my freedom, and I'm in no rush with her or any other lady.

As far as her kiss goes, I agree that it's not this big, huge deal but the only reason I'm kind of looking at it with a raised eyebrow is because there was no precedent for it. It's not like she's been kissing me on the lips everytime we say good night. It's always been hugs. Im sure your relatives didn't just one day start kissing on the lips...I'm sure that's been the norm with them which obviously can't be read into. This was different and this was new with WAW.
The fact that she suddenly felt the need to kiss me on the lips, in a way progressing from her previous method of saying farewell, is why I question it as I do. Oh and yes the way it went down was we were at her car, she opened her arms for the usual hug, but then she pulled me by the shoulders into her face and kissed me. So it was intentional and a much different good-bye than the usual. In other words, why not just hug me like usual and say goodbye? Why plant a kiss on my lips? Why differ?

As I said I also sensed something going with her during the day. I think seeing her/my cat, all of our old items around my apartment, etc acted as a sort of time warp for her that she enjoyed. She said it's great that her and I are taking time sorting our lives out, that I'm getting a car, etc. and that we are doing well.

So she acted differently than our previous visits in that she seemed to flirt and such much more. Hard to put my finger on it but there was this different vibe from her. Also the clear concern and jealousy over Mary that she continues to demonstrate is also an item of curiosity. She brings Mary up WAY too much...another thing that makes me wonder. She also mentioned my friend Sue who had texted me and WAW asked "What's going on with her? She's getting a little too attached to you isn't she?" So her preoccupation with my other ladies is curious to me.
But yeah, obviously I'm not mailing this one in until we get full blown real kiss... something much more definitive.

Oh and one other thing, her frequent references to my sexual performance also has me suspecting she is not totally adverse to us having sex possibly at some point. Like Mary, she brings that up quite a bit too...how her ex boyfriend didn't compare to me. So sex with me is definitely crossing her mind at times. I did also come out and say to her that Monday before the party that if we wind up in the sack in two weeks great, if not that's fine too. I also said if we get back together great, if not that's fine too. She didn't refute those items at all. She instead agreed with me that life will lead us wherever we are meant to be.

So when I partner all this with this sudden lip kiss farewell it has me thinking there's something going on with her. Either way the time will come for a blunt talk with her that will likely end in either us agreeing to work on R, or me bidding her farewell and walking away. I'm prepared for either scenario but that's a couple months away as right now I plan to be single no matter what for the rest of the Summer so I'm in no immediate rush for an answer from her anyway. After all it's not just about her wanting to commit to me...I have to want to commit to her as well and right now there's too much going on in my life to commit to any woman, WAW or anyone else. I spent two years in a committed relationship...so I want this time off anyway. So everything for me is about being casual and having some fun during my Summer.