But many women in my family kiss male relatives (blood relatives) on the lips hello and goodbye. I am a germophobe and actually hate it. But clearly there is nothing beyond hello or goodbye going on.
So while it is a good sign, I would be very careful attaching too much to it. There is a huge difference between a quick closed mouth peck on the lips....and a full open mouth kiss. If she grabbed you and planted the latter on you then it would be unambiguous.
But I agree, you are getting a lot of mixed messages from her IH. I've been all over the place in my reading of things. I do feel at some point a frank talk about where this is going would benefit you. IF she has R on the brain, that talk will not deter her. If she doesn't then you will get that answer loud and clear. I really don't see a downside to the discussion.
I assume that if she is just wanting to be friends, then you are not interested. If I am wrong then ignore the above.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I respectfully disagree. Having a discussion suggests that she herself knows what she wants right now and that she may be withholding that info. She very well may not know yet! There is also a lot at stake, and because this R has already failed once in the past, so it is understandable that she would want to move at a snails pace. Perhaps in her mind there is only one shot so she will be cautious. Also, a conversation can potentially put pressure on her, which could frighten her away. It's too soon.
There is no doubt in my mind that she enjoys your company, is starting to feel a desire to R with you, and that this is moving in the right direction. She keeps coming back and she keeps revealing a little more. IH, I fully trust that your intuition about her and her intentions is right on the money! I say keep doing that feels right to you. You got this. ... and keep keeping us posted please :-)
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
Very true Steve. That frank conversation is inevitable for sure. Certainly this ambiguity can't go on forever as I'm fine being single for Summer; I don't really want to be committed at the moment, but once the Fall hits I plan on dating a bit more heavily and looking for a girlfriend. Once that time comes then it will also be the point where WAW and I will either decide to start working on R or I walk and bid her farewell. For now I'm playing the field anyway so this WAW business is fine but once it's time for me to really look for a realtionship...she's going to have to make a decision. It's either we discuss working on R or we say goodbye and go our separate ways. I will have no guilt in that as I've told her already that once i start dating someone that I'm serious about our "friendship" will cease. But for now it's still Summer, I'm enjoying my freedom, and I'm in no rush with her or any other lady.
As far as her kiss goes, I agree that it's not this big, huge deal but the only reason I'm kind of looking at it with a raised eyebrow is because there was no precedent for it. It's not like she's been kissing me on the lips everytime we say good night. It's always been hugs. Im sure your relatives didn't just one day start kissing on the lips...I'm sure that's been the norm with them which obviously can't be read into. This was different and this was new with WAW. The fact that she suddenly felt the need to kiss me on the lips, in a way progressing from her previous method of saying farewell, is why I question it as I do. Oh and yes the way it went down was we were at her car, she opened her arms for the usual hug, but then she pulled me by the shoulders into her face and kissed me. So it was intentional and a much different good-bye than the usual. In other words, why not just hug me like usual and say goodbye? Why plant a kiss on my lips? Why differ?
As I said I also sensed something going with her during the day. I think seeing her/my cat, all of our old items around my apartment, etc acted as a sort of time warp for her that she enjoyed. She said it's great that her and I are taking time sorting our lives out, that I'm getting a car, etc. and that we are doing well.
So she acted differently than our previous visits in that she seemed to flirt and such much more. Hard to put my finger on it but there was this different vibe from her. Also the clear concern and jealousy over Mary that she continues to demonstrate is also an item of curiosity. She brings Mary up WAY too much...another thing that makes me wonder. She also mentioned my friend Sue who had texted me and WAW asked "What's going on with her? She's getting a little too attached to you isn't she?" So her preoccupation with my other ladies is curious to me. But yeah, obviously I'm not mailing this one in until we get full blown real kiss... something much more definitive.
Oh and one other thing, her frequent references to my sexual performance also has me suspecting she is not totally adverse to us having sex possibly at some point. Like Mary, she brings that up quite a bit too...how her ex boyfriend didn't compare to me. So sex with me is definitely crossing her mind at times. I did also come out and say to her that Monday before the party that if we wind up in the sack in two weeks great, if not that's fine too. I also said if we get back together great, if not that's fine too. She didn't refute those items at all. She instead agreed with me that life will lead us wherever we are meant to be.
So when I partner all this with this sudden lip kiss farewell it has me thinking there's something going on with her. Either way the time will come for a blunt talk with her that will likely end in either us agreeing to work on R, or me bidding her farewell and walking away. I'm prepared for either scenario but that's a couple months away as right now I plan to be single no matter what for the rest of the Summer so I'm in no immediate rush for an answer from her anyway. After all it's not just about her wanting to commit to me...I have to want to commit to her as well and right now there's too much going on in my life to commit to any woman, WAW or anyone else. I spent two years in a committed relationship...so I want this time off anyway. So everything for me is about being casual and having some fun during my Summer.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Well I could be wrong. Wouldn't be the first time in IH's threads alone. I just get the sense that IH gets impatient at times with the current status. And I don't blame him. I'm very much on board with pushing things. But that's just my old man impatience talking.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
