Can I really do this #5

[Dtrmned]

Definitely a marathon. Exhausted already, but feeling ok.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2803478&#Post2803478

There is the link to #4 if you need or desire to look back and catch up.

Tons going on.

First, Steve, I thank you for your input. The vets that have taken an interest in my situation have meant a great deal to me. I would love just a small get together somewhere tropical to have drinks with umbrellas on a beach to thank you all, toast a glass, and wish all of the best in our lives moving forward.

Steve, your last question regarding my W's depression. With her childhood abuse, father abandoning the family, mother going SUPER religious and forcing it down her throat led to major rebellion, drug abuse, questionable choices, and everything else. This combined with the major health issues, the work issues, and now our marital issues, YES depression is greatly involved. She has had it most of her life, all of her adult life, and takes medication for this.

Your previous post prior talking about options. My concern is that over the last week or so, especially the last few days, she has withdrawn more and more. She is cold, distant, and seems to be fading to a worse place than before. No engagement whatsoever. No interest in much of anything. Is it because our situation? Her thoughts and dreams? Her depression on her situation (outside of our MR)? I don't know. She is on anti-depressions medication and has been for years. They work sometimes, sometimes they need to be changed.

I think I posted yesterday or the day before, that I am pessimistic about a R to a new MR, this is due mostly to her just non desire to do anything, anywhere, anytime regarding our MR. I give her her space. I do engage with the kids, do a few things, and always offer and ask if she would like to participate. The answer is mostly an overwhelming no.

Can a WAW/WW come out of her fog?

My concern is that this is affecting my profession and thus my income. Not necessarily a bad thing if it came to D as it is just less in Child support. Steve, there is a prenup in place stating there will not be any alimony or spousal support.

I am frustrated, lonely, tired of putting my life on hold for her. Steve, I also value my hold dearly the vows I made to her in front of God and all of our witnesses. I do not take this likely. I just don't know that if throwing in the towel makes sense, or is it just the cowards way out.

I have stated prior that as far as finances, I would be much better off if we D. Definitely not my desire. If I hung in there for another year, I would be ok doing that. I would just need some assurance that she was in 100% and we were working with an MC to move forward possibility.