OK here goes first post... pt 2

[MrsJLS]

DavidUK- I think in your situation when your W asks what your are going to do with your children- be quite evasive and mysterious- say something like - " I haven't decided yet but I am sure we will do something fun"- or "yes, I have planned a few things but will decide when I see the kids and talk to them first".

Leave her wondering what you are going to do -see it as a poker game, you don't want to show her your cards - e. g. what you are planning, thinking, and feeling- but do that in cheerful, fun, confident manner- by all means avoid looking desperate- that will put her off. Read the detachment thread- I think it works in your case.

I am not sure whether or not it was here or somewhere else where I read that one spouse is like a monkey banging on the chest, making noise so the other spouse notices and starts talking, loving, engaging etc.. however the other spouse is a turtle- he / she stays in the shell, because the monkey is making so much noise and the turtle feels safer inside. As soon as the monkey stops making the noise, the turtle comes out of the shell and becomes more curious. So basically I am trying to suggest that you could stop being a monkey and making the noise! Let the turtle become more curious...