Detaching / Dbing... Can I get to Piecing?

[Did]

Thanks Loves nice to hear from someone here. I know my sitch is kind of common and there are many more interesting. Yea maybe I am getting too detachment, I dont have sexual thoughts about her like I used to. At least not as often, Im not waking up thinking of her. Seeing her is still hard... sometimes I want to turn my head and say what really? She is going to buy a car tomorrow I think... I told her Id think your income would control what car you have (she has no income). But its her money and her decision, I cant control her. So I said ok I understand Im glad youre happy with your decision... validate right?

I agreed to do this support for three months, $2325 per month plus health and life insurance. August will be month number 2. So I will do that again next month. If nothing changes by the end of September I guess I will have a decision to make... divorce? I guess a discussion at least where I will probably say nothing has changed you dont want to make any effort to be together. So I guess divorce is the right answer?

Im not going to pay for someones life who I barely interact with any longer than I have to. Even if I do have feelings for her and a child with her. Someone who treats me like a friend she doesnt really want to see or touch just a coparent. She flies away when I say ok lets make the plans you asked for. Yea, Id love to have a partner to be intimate with and share lifes experiences with but I know I will be ok either way. I miss my daughter every day and wish I could make my wife fall desperately in love with me like she once was. But its not in my control. Im doing my best to be a good man and father. I know our daughter asks when Im coming to get her and thinks Im a great dad. Thats the most important thing right? Im getting back to playing sports and working out a lot. Building relationships and friendships.

I will not ask her to make plans and if she asks me to dinner or to have a drink she can take the lead. I wont come on too strong or come on at all in the future. I will tentatively accept but I am trying to protect myself and detach as much as I can. I sometimes miss her and dam* I still think shes attractive. I wish she would or could open up to me and be the woman I love and married but I dont see that person anymore. Even typing it is said. But we come into the world alone and we die alone right?

I just sent my letter of resignation in to my current job which is about 60% of my income. Going to a new company, while a third is making a strong pitch for my services. Who knows if Im making the right decision but Im trying to trust my instincts. A year of change, thats for sure. Onward and upward.