You have all the time in the world. The divorce decree is just a piece of paper. How would it really change your life. Even if you get divorced, theres no rule that says you can't remarry.
D settlement could mean me having to move away from my kids to afford somewhere to live. I hadn't told W but even before we split I'd been thinking about us getting remarried.
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My point was not that her actions will revealed before D. Maybe they will, maybe they wont. But someday, her motives will be revealed.
I know quite a lot about her planning to leave and hiding money in advance for a D. I worked out the truth from bits of info and it was a massive shock. It explains a lot of her behaviour where, when and why I was suspicious.
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I wish I knew for sure if there was an OM/OW.
What would change if there were?"
W would go even lower in my estimation. I'd consider being with someone else. In the meantime, if W is/was in a short-term thing and wanted to return then I'd might have a way to get to terms with it. Even so, she would have to change to become more mature.
It is interesting as to how the dynamics have changed. When she left, she blamed me for everything and I started to believe it myself. However, I then discovered she was telling lots of lies. I then told her that I'm not perfect but at least I'm honest, faithful and put my family first. I still expect D papers v.soon.
