I wake-up crying every morning knowing my W and family are gone from our home and all our future plans that I was so looking forward too have been destroyed. I miss my family life so much.
Really sorry you're going through this. I can relate to how you feel though, as I'm sure many others here can. Between dating and marriage my ex and I had 25 years together. We had investments, retirement plans, everything planned out. When all of that is ripped away it is devastating. But that's life for you, the more comfortable you get then the more likely life is going to throw some ugly curveball your way. Divorce, terrible illnesses, sudden deaths, it's all on the table. You just don't know it. That was one big life lesson for me- plan for the future but expect the unexpected, because the unexpected IS going to happen. It's not a question of "if" but "when".
Regarding Benito's point, you need to quit concerning yourself with "take action A to get reaction B out of wife" and just take action A because it is right for you and what you want. Benito clung desperately to his W like so many of us did. It wasn't until he well and truly accepted she was gone and got about the business of working on himself that she did a 180. The way DB'ing works is you focus on yourself and your kids and be the best man and best father possible without concerning yourself with whether it will bring your W back or not. As long as you hold that rope she will run and run and run. Drop the rope and she'll stop and look back and maybe even reverse course. The irony is you've got to get to the point where you no longer care if she comes back before she might.
