Wife is not who I married...Pls Help Pt5

[LoneWlf]

Helena , Arshi and Nicole - for you wonderful women to be actively responding to my sitch giving me thought provoking womanly perspectives is so very dear and kind. It touches my heart that you take time to give me heartfelt advice to help me better navigate my unfavorable position. It also restores some of my HOPE to know that there are good women out there with hearts filled with love and compassion. I often ponder if I will be able to fully give my heart to my W or any other woman who may want to walk the path of togetherness.

That said-I have been thinking about what you all have said in regards to gently reaching out to W. For the letter-I agree. I am not fully sold on doing so for the purposes of the updates. My reason for this is it makes me the initiator of communications- not the goal I want. It can also potentially backfire because she has never asked me for any updates - am I to assume she wants my updates? What if she wants to know all details of all S doings? How much detail should i give? I need to take account on how S feels on this touchy subject-S may feel I am going behind his back now that we are closer relationship wise. I do not want to tear down what we have built. To add to this - lets say I told W that this past weekend that S and I had a blast on the weekend at one of the local escape rooms. She may have resentment thinking that I am trying to make her look bad by being the "Disney Dad" or even think that I am rubbing salt in the wound for showing her life continues without her. For all the vets who have experience in this - I am willing to learn the proper steps and I thank you in advance. Especially you wonderful ladies- to care - to love- to share your thoughts- it is a blessing what you consistently show me here. Thank you!