W rushing thru D, help Part 2

[OrangeK]

^^^^^^^^^
Perfectly said.

I was just coming to type my response but 346 said it Better than I could have. The only thing I can add is time. And acceptance. The sooner you accept that what 346 has said is true the sooner you can begin to heal. If I had truly accepted this truth at the 3-month Mark I can't imagine how much better a place I would be in right now. Instead I fought against reality for months and months and here at the 9-month Mark I am finally coming to accept that what 346 has said above is the absolute truth. so many board members have said the exact same thing to me in a variety of different ways and 4 months I was banging my head against the wall not listening still looking for hope. as they say, divorce does not mean the end, if it is truly meant to be then perhaps it needs to be torn down before being rebuilt again. I think maintaining the frame of mind that divorce busting is truly for self improvement above all is Paramount. obviously this website is designed to avoid divorce and prevent it, and I have seen so many left behind husband's on this board, myself included, that have brought themselves low in an attempt to avoid divorce without realizing that by not standing up for yourself all you're doing is losing the respect further from a woman who clearly has very little or no respect to begin with as aww. every time I have thought that there was improvement with communication and relationship between my wife and I all it ever ended up being was a rope around my waist pulling me back down into the pit of depression. even after realizing that no contact was my path to Salvation I still violated it regularly anytime any nugget of Hope or something that smelled like it would appear. I bought it Hook Line & Sinker every single time and prolonged my healing process by at least 4 to 6 months. as cliche as it sounds, if you love someone let them go and if they return it was meant to be. you have to respect yourself and your own boundaries first, and like they say usually the ww only notices change when it's too late and the LBH has truly detached and moved on. rise above the Betrayal and the hatred and the pain. don't drag yourself through broken glass like I did. Focus on your children, for me healing came best through being the best dad I can be. I still have a long road of healing to walk, but I'm glancing at the storm clouds behind me over my shoulder less and less often. How many roads must a man walk down? I do not know, but I have seen that with every poster on this board when they commit to walking down that new Road, its path eventually diverges from the original Road enough that it's no longer in sight and only the Horizon can be focused on. It's an uphill walk my friend, I'll meet you at the top when we both get there.