Can I really do this #4

[sandi2]

I think you play with words and substitute the nicer sounding ones for those that hit too close to the truth.

Am I just enabling her to get to a better place or position where she can bolt?

Yes, you are most definitely an enabler. Your life is spent enabling your W.

Am I just a schmuck that is too nice of a guy to cut this off and move on?

What if you change the words "nice guy" to "weak"?

Am I just still so much in love with my W that I would sacrifice my dignity to stay with her even if we don't have a MR?

That sounds so sweet, doesn't it? Well, change the words "so much in love with my W" to "so co-dependent on the R with my W".

Should I give her the wake up call, file, and move this all forward in the chance that THIS might be her wake up call?

How would you proceed with the wake up call? Frankly, I think she is just as co-dependent as you. I'm not trying to be harsh. I say it with concern that it seems to be a real factor in this situation.

I now seem to have to worry about even the slightest situation that arises.

Who can change it?

Stop looking at her. Stop waiting on her for the answers.

I don't think you can move forward in trying to fix your W. That also includes, not rescuing her and not supporting her. Could you cut that rope? Your entire life is set with her in the center. Everything is about her, her health and her needs. She keeps things in this particular spot by giving you enough scary words to remind you that she's not happy. In the meantime, she does no action, and you continue doing as always.

So, do you think you have the courage to "wake her up"? IDK, b/c you would be seen as the bad guy, and that seems to make you roll up into a ball. So, could you do it?