Maika, there's a lot I wish to write but one observation is that you don't sound like a victim at all, not even last year when I first starting reading your thread. It's interesting to hear that's what you hold inside of you. We humans really have deep interior parts of ourselves that we keep well hidden. It must have been difficult to confront these parts of yourself but you're working through them. It seems that you really, truly have changed. You're not just changing on the exterior level but it sounds like you've morphed into a new person. I think I may have missed why you've been struggling with your goals recently but hopefully you're offering yourself some leniency. You've been through a lot. Goals are great to have and create structure in your life but maybe another realization you'll have is that you're also human and some goals will be more like moving targets. I look forward to hearing how the divorce process goes for you and what lies ahead. You're one of the ones who seems like you'll do great in your next relationship. It's hard to believe you were as bad as you say you were before your wife left because you have great communication skills and you seem to have such a positive attitude but even if you were the person you said you were before, you still deserve to be loved and supported! We all go through low points in our lives and we don't deserve to be abandoned every time we're not doing well. That's one of the reasons why I'd still give my husband another chance if he turns his life around. We're all human, we're all imperfect, and we all still deserve to be loved!
