Here's the thing about the Five Love Languages: it's not just about learning to ask your partner to speak YOUR love language. It's about learning to recognize when they ARE speaking to you but not in one of YOUR primary languages.
Can you think of ways in which he IS speaking but you're not recognizing it?
Can you let go of your anxiety and just bring up the issue dispassionately? Something like "you know, when you don't text me for days at a time it makes me think you're not particularly interested."
Just don't drag all your old baggage into this. It's ok to let him know what you'd like but try to avoid coming off needy or hurt. Just give him the information and see what he does with it. He may not know he's doing it and may correct his behavior or he may not, then you'll have your answer. But remember, every time you got worked up in the past, he then came through and many of your fears were unfounded.
