All pretty solid advice, especially around the boundaries.
He finally texted me back last night saying he was sorry, busy, ect., still on for Wednesday. I think we might have to talk a little on Wednesday.
Dawn, I was reading your post on your thread, then your post to me and I realize that he does not speak my love language. It's funny, because all the love languages are mine in small doses. My biggest is quality time, which works different for me, as I don't get much time, but I like the quality aspect. Second is physical touch, which we are a little different on as he is an opposite side of the bed sleeper, not cuddling, but he is ok with affection outside of that, it's a matter of sleeping comfort. Then words of affirmation. When I say affirmation, it's not "compliments" just letting me know I am being thought of or appreciated and the such.
And you are all right on the I am not focused on me. This has been probably the biggest damage the cheating and divorce has done. I doubt myself horribly. I doubt that my needs are reasonable. I feel like I need to do everything to make everyone else happy so that they stay. Logically, I know that person can just go if they don't like me as I am. I actually like me as I am. But my ex traded me in as soon as I had needs and stopped just doing everything the way he saw fit. Any other R I expressed a need in (and certainly not an unreasonable one) I was dropped immediately.
That I don't think is me. I think it's the guys I chose. Or that chose me.
HC does is not ready for an R. And I can tell what he means by not being ready for one. meeting someone else's needs. Thinking about someone else. He is so focused on him right now, he doesn't want to worry about texting or calling me.
I truly met him at the wrong time.
Maybe, there will be someone in the same spot as me one day. One not afraid to give especially when they are getting something pretty great in return. ME!
