Gordie #20: patiently living my life

[Gordie]

Butterfly

You have literally blown my mind

Yes she has a more troubled relationship with the girls

In the Women in MLC book it talks about for some women seeing their daughter’s transition from girls to women is a trigger because they compare the daughters young bodies to their own and the unlimited potential of their youth to their own lives that are filled with disappointment and resentment and lacking in opportunity

And yes I have heard the no one did that for me speech how did you know about that speech and the psychic and emotional damage

The truth is my parents were not that supportive of me so part of my desire as a father is to do that for my kids I have never said what you said but have thought it is that not what a parent is supposed to do

There was of course total attention on her before there were kids And then babies came and I felt her total attention was on them and I was okay with that because I thought that was the way it was supposed to be

Yes I felt I was de prioritized and in hindsight shifted my attention to my career and the children which I feel was my biggest contribution to the breakdown of the M where she eventually felt I paid no attention to her and no longer valued and cherished her

There was no outright hostility on either of our parts and mistakenly I thought this was just a natural evolution and did not expect or work for anything more as we were the so called happy and social couple with happy children and lots of friends and the center of our social circle and so of course was just another blindsided LBS at BD

Thank you butterfly for giving me a lot to think about