What should I be doing now? (It's done)

[Coconut]

It's been awhile since I posted here, I've been spending my time in the post divorce forum, which fits my life now, where I'm at.. Fact is my life is sooo much better than it was the last few years of my M, but that's because I've grown, I've become better. But I'm posting here because I had a moment, I don't think of my old life much, I don't miss being M to ex or spending time with her, but I had a moment yesterday where thoughts of missing out on my sons (step son for those who don't know my sitch) senior year, homecoming, prom, etc.. I gave up my opportunity to have children of my own by staying with ex (she was sterile), but I was more than happy raising the son I did have, but then BD just as he was finishing up junior year in high school. It got to me yesterday, a couple of weeks after he visited, and I let her know she had no right or reason to do what she did, no right to tear me away from my son.. Over two years from BD, there still is no sign of guilt.

I didn't intend to move away from him, but he was a teen who was more interested in being with friends than dad.. Add to that, I worked with ex that made everyday miserable and "running into OM in my neighborhood" and realizing I came very close to ending up in jail.. With that I decided to go, I looked for and found a job in NC, a place I've wanted to move to for 20 years. Life is good, great even, I really enjoy where I'm at and what I'm doing. I'm surrounded by new friends, visit old friends back home (and many visit me here), I dont have a problem finding dates when feel like going out, things are really good. I haven't found love, but I think that may be my own doing, I keep most people at a distance that I feel comfy with, and the very few I've wanted to get closer with have kept me at a distance, we just didn't click.

My point is, there is happiness at the end of this road, it's not sprinkles and rainbow farts, but if you DB, life can be full again... Life doesn't have to be perfect, but you do have to live it for it to be worth it. Things may work out with your S, or maybe they won't, just know that either way, you need to live the life you have to the fullest.