Letting go for my own inner peace

[bttrfly]

I completely agree with Ellie - you are a h@lluva dad, Irish, and thank God they have you.

on a personal note. I am working on my D15 sweet 16 party. I did the same for D17. Limo, supper out alone with friends and an activity of her choice. I also love making movies. So I start editing old home movies from D15 birth to last week at Comic-con. Well it was harder this time around going through memories and footage of XW when she was the person I loved. Crazy who she became as I don't recognize her at all now. |Not sure why i was affect more with this , I did the same for D17 and didn't get the same at a loss feeling. Maybe after withdrawal and acceptance there is a thing called memories that pull on your heart string.

I know she will never be that person again and I'm not waiting for it to happen. Too much has happened to forgive and forget.

I still have hope for the girls.

I understand. I don't think it's memories pulling on heart strings so much as the last and hardest thing to give up on is the dream - the dream of the happy family, growing old together. MLC is like death, only worse because the person is still physically here but the soul we loved seems to have just vanished. I miss the man I married and spent many years with. The man who divorced me, not so much. But now that he's moving 3000 miles away I find myself alternating between hoping he leaves tomorrow and being very sad about how it all worked out (or didn't) for us. I figure it's just another step in letting go.

{{{{{{{Irish}}}}}}}