Juju mentioned boundaries, which was the first thing that popped in my head when I read about you feeling like you have no control.. You have ALL the control with the one that matters, you just need to exercise that control. I think the biggest issue I see is that your not focused on what you want. In your updates right after dates you talk about great sex and you just want to have fun, you'll take things as they come and go with the flow; then about a week after each date you start getting anxious because he isn't giving you the attention you want in between dates. I could give lots of explanations as to what might be going through his mind, but instead I'll stay focused on you.
My opinion is this, you need to friend zone him, he's coming over for dinner, he's expecting dinner and "dessert", leave dessert off the table. Have a good time with him, live, laugh but don't love.. End the night with a nice kiss, but if he presses for more, tell him that you need more build up than just a fun night, you need to know he's thinking about the time you'll be spending together before the night has arrived.
Right now he's got a good thing going and has no reason to change, if you want him to change, start by making a change in what your doing.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
