FaceMan: she may take her focus off you but realize that won’t fix anything. No contact is not meant to fix her, but it’s meant to protect you. Like others are saying you will find it much more tolerable if you are not around her spewing and pain. You can protect yourself and your kids, because guess what, you getting trashed is in no way changing anything. It is not helping her, it is not making her feel better, it is not fixing her. So all things being equal, DONT SUFFER.
Also the sooner you remove yourself the more likely it is you won’t hate her. Don’t focus on her “snapping out if it” when you are gone. Rather focus on if you can preserve yourself and not keep getting hurt you MAY still want her back if and when she snaps out of it, because if you don’t you will grow to hate her.
This is a marathon, sorry to say. Don’t start sprinting, settle in for the long haul. But it will be ok, as others said when you remove yourself you may realize how much stress and effort she has been causing you lately, even before BD, that you didn’t notice. No matter how much I miss my wife I am happier and more energetic and up when she is not around.
And make NO decisions now in the middle of the storm. Wait for calm and perspective before you decide anything. Right now ignore everything she says, don’t engage or discuss, just be kind but do not help her.
