Still Moving (Saying ILY Pt 7)

[OrangeK]

MTB. You have done an amazing job. The Big Mac analogy was quite fitting and amusing.
I had a very similar moment of clarity this weekend while talking with SIL myself.

I said something to the effect of "Why have i been fighting myself so hard to save something i know was screwed from the get-go? She doesn't have any true value, she only ever supported me to inflate her image online, she wastes what talents she does have by not using them, is petty and cruel to everyone, and ALWAYS has been. I was just blind for so long to how bad she treats everyone because i was the only one she was being nice to."

That realization that, the person you loved never changed, they just did a good job convincing guys like us that they weren't the person they really were, and the nice bubbly person is the real personality.

I spent months and months and months, wondering why she did this, how she could fall out of love, what changed, what I did wrong. etc etc etc. the list goes on forever.

But as you said, Neither one of us changed in the long run. We just finally saw eachother for who we are.
She saw me as someone who wouldnt keep my mouth shut and accept abuse my whole life
and i EVENTUALLY (like, very recently) saw that its not flawed pieces of her personality that caused this.
Her personality is fundamentally flawed.
So, she DID change, but she changed into the woman i came to "know" in order to be what she felt my ideal mate was.


I thought this realization would be so painful if and when it happened. It is cleansing, liberating and clean.