Affair discovered 3

[STH17]

Just sent son off with W for this week. I did a lot of fun stuff with son this weekend. Went to another festival that had free carnival rides and had ice cream there. We re-painted one of his dinosaur toys and a happy meal toy because he's been watching a lot of youtube videos of toy customization like that. I had a friend, his wife, and their infant over for dinner one night.

Despite all that my son has started telling me "I don't like you, I hate you, I don't like living with you" when I say "I love you" to him. I've read that can be a common thing for kids his age to do, especially when they are upset about not getting their way with something. That was definitely the case the first time, he was upset I wanted him to sleep in his bed instead of on the couch. It caught me off guard and I tried asking him why he said that, it's not a nice thing to say. And after some reading I learned the best response is not to do that, but to assure him that I still love him no matter what. I did that the next day when he said the same things and I think it turned out better.

It seems to be the same sort of detached response necessary for dealing with a spouse who says they are not in love with you: "Ok, you don't love me, but that is not a reflection of my true intrinsic value, and I will still love you no matter what." Except saying "I love you" to a spouse who wants out doesn't really work. And that's an even harder attitude to maintain when spouse is having an affair. I wonder if I still love her or I just haven't let her go. I think I know how to get my love for her back if I needed to (that is if she shows any interest in R).

I am sad that my son is saying these things to me because I think he would not be saying them to me if W had not moved out. He was very excited to see W today when she came to pick him up. I feel like not only have I lost my W, now I need to save my relationship with my son too.