Is It Too Late?

[WillD78]

Oh, one other significant, or at least interesting bit from the weekend ... This may not make sense or be of any consequence, but it affected me:

As I mentioned above, I met a friend for a beer on Saturday. He and his W are our neighbors, probably our closest "couples friends," and the four of us and our families spend a lot of time together. When W BDed me last summer, he was my support. The only person I talked to. And my W talked to his W. It turns out that they had gone through similar M problems several years ago. Over the past year, I have talked to him on and off about my M and W. Whenever I would talk to him, his W would reach out to my W to make sure she was OK.

So, on Saturday night, W asks me if I talked to my friend about our MR and about the fact that she signed a lease on a new place. I tell her, honestly, that the topic did come up because he asked how we were doing, but he already knew about the lease, b/c I talked to him on the day W told me she signed the lease.

W said she thought it was "weird" because my friend's W used to always check in with my W after there was a development in our MR and I talked to my friend about it. But that hasn't happened lately. She seemed upset that it seems like her friend is letting her down. I really wanted to fix this. I wanted to tell W that she should reach out. Or that our friends don't understand what she is doing so they don't really know what to say to her. But I didn't. I listened. I validated.

I thought about telling my friend to tell his W to contact my W. But that's fixing again. I have just let it be, but I really feel bad for her. This is a result of her shutting everyone off from her emotionally. This is a consequence of the actions she is taking leaving our family and our home.