Still Navigating

[Ginger1]

Thanks, I hope something happens soon. The anticipation is the worst.

Today is 9 years divorced for me. Still single, never remarried, no more kids and 38 years old, still not living in my own secure home. They are still married and have been married almost twice as long as we were. I think our marriage technically doesn't even count anymore. I feel more like a never married single mother. I know I have made some great accomplishments in the past 9 years since that day. But I guess a little bit of a dark cloud looms over me not being anywhere near I thought I would be.


I am back at work this morning. Yay. Not. I have not heard from HC since Thursday. No anxiety comes with it, I know he has been away and it's not his thing. But MY thing is, hey, reach out, say hi, it's nice to know someone is thinking of you. But then I realize, he may very well not be thinking of me. It kind of feels blah. Again, not constant text banter. Don't want that. Just knowing someone is thinking of you when you haven't seen them just feels sort of nice. But I have to be aware of the fact I am dating a divorced guy who doesn't want anything "real" right now placing myself back to where I got hurt in 2 R's being in the same position. I question it, Because of I am feeling in this process.

I also hate feeling like my needs are unreasonable. And I am only going along with what the other person can give.

I still have to figure this one out. But for now, I am going to focus on the housing situation and I will have him over as planned for dinner Wednesday. Like I said, great time with him, the in between is like he isn't even around, and we see each other once a week. (almost 2 weeks in this case). I don't know how well that works for me. but the alternative.

Nothing and no one.

[TBSakaJ9]

Sorry G......I think that is probably the hardest part of not being on the same timeline but I kind of agree I would think he would be reaching out if nothing else just to say "hi". The girl that I am currently talking to or whatever you want to call it we usually exchange a couple of messages a day. We don't blow each other's phone up but just something that lets the other person know your thinking of them. She has two kids, I have two kids so as you know it's kind of challenging to find time to meet up. You guys saw each other on Thursday correct? How did you leave it?

[Ginger1]

We saw each other not this past Thursday, but the Thursday before. We exchanged a few texts before he went away and we set a date for this upcoming Wednesday. I am cooking him dinner.

It's nice to know someone is still thinking about you. Especially when you can't see each other often.

I may just be a woman to have fun with. Out of mind when I am not around.

I guess I just have to figure it out.

[TBSakaJ9]

Ok....so it has been over a week then. I would say that lack of texting is good for date build up so you have something to talk about and discuss. It also puts him a position of being a little mysterious and since you don't know where he stands or what his intentions are that probably makes you more interested than you normally would be. IMO it all sets up perfectly for an outstanding evening. I assume he will call or text you in the next couple of days to confirm your Wednesday plans.

Most woman are probably going to have sex with a guy buy the 3rd or 4th date unless the attraction levels are off the charts. Most woman will probably start pursuing more after they have sex since they are developing an emotional bond. Since you guys have already had sex I think that is part of the reason why it's hard to pull back and not over pursue.

[Mach1]

I guess I just have to figure it out.

Or maybe you don't....

[Vanilla]

Nothing wrong with fun.

I am mega jealous.......

V

[Dawn70]

Keeping my fingers crossed on your house situation!

I get what you are saying about the communication. I don't need constant communication either, but an occasional "what's up?" or "how's your day?" or whatever is all good. Hopefully you'll have a lovely evening Wednesday night and can kind of put it behind you.

And, for the record, IN MY OPINION ONLY, I think that Mach and Vanilla are kinda saying the same thing in different ways. At least that is how I read it, so if I'm reading incorrectly, I'm sorry to both of you, but in any case, I'm taking their posts as meaning the same thing and I agree with what I think they are saying.....just let it be. You don't have to figure anything out. Just have fun. Relax and enjoy the ride, have fun, DATE.

[Ginger1]

Thanks.

What I am trying to figure out is this making me feel better or worse? Is seeing someone once a week and being ignored in the in between something that is fun for me or isn't?

I was talking to my cousin about my house this morning and she takes a picture of HC right next to her (they share a work bench). I say "Hi, hope you had a nice trip!" She shows it to him. Nothing. I text him "just wanted to say hi myself and welcoming you back from your trip. Nothing.

It just isn't cool with me. It doesn't feel good.

I currently feel like in control of nothing and like I am at everyone's mercy with different things in my life.

It simply doesn't feel good. I guess I'll see how Wednesday night feels if it even happens.

[TBSakaJ9]

Sorry G....hang in there! I would not text him again and I thought we talked about keeping your cousin out of it? If it doesn't feel good then you can always cancel on him if he reaches out.

[Dawn70]

Thanks.

What I am trying to figure out is this making me feel better or worse? Is seeing someone once a week and being ignored in the in between something that is fun for me or isn't?

I was talking to my cousin about my house this morning and she takes a picture of HC right next to her (they share a work bench). I say "Hi, hope you had a nice trip!" She shows it to him. Nothing. I text him "just wanted to say hi myself and welcoming you back from your trip. Nothing.

It just isn't cool with me. It doesn't feel good.

I currently feel like in control of nothing and like I am at everyone's mercy with different things in my life.

It simply doesn't feel good. I guess I'll see how Wednesday night feels if it even happens.

This may or may not apply in this situation, so use it if it works for you, but I JUST saw a quote somewhere earlier today that basically said a lack of response IS a response. I get maybe he's busy at work or something and I agree with J9 that I thought we'd all already said keeping your cousin out of it is best, but the fact that he didn't even tell her to say oh tell her I said thanks or something along those lines seems like a response to me. And, because I know you and I think similarly, IF I let it, it would drive me crazy, so I'm assuming that is what you are doing. I'm sorry, G.....that really does suck.