Thanks Artista, yeah I am totally fine with that. I think the confusion comes in here with some posters because they think I want a relationship with WAW right now. Actually I am fine with things as they are going. I'm not necessarily ready to jump into another relationship so soon after I just got out of a long term relationship. Like WAW, I need some time for just me right now. Hanging with WAW works for us both. As I told her last Monday, if we end up in the sack in two weeks fine, if not that's fine too. If we end up back together great, of not so be it. I just want to see where this all leads. So far it's going well. I see when she looks at me that there is still something inside her for me...but I can't force that to blossom...it has to happen in its own time. If I was in a rush to R then things probably would've went South with us already. Neither of us is in a rush, and I do feel in time WAW and I will have that inevitable conversation about R. It's going to come yo eventually and I think she knows that too. For now I am just using this time for WAW to get to know the new me. Now every other time we've said goodbye it was just a hug. Last night she kissed me. As small as that seems, it is progress. So I agree that I think I am handling things well and that last night was perfect. Baby steps until we both reach a point where we're both ready to be in a committed relationship. Right now neither of us is and that's fine. Everything happens for a reason and in the grand scheme of things it seems the universe is bringing WAW and I together again for a reason. Mary and I broke up and then WAW reemerges. It's like fate is guiding us...if you believe in that sort of thing.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
I think you are in like flynn just keep it up! She just needs to know new you is real. You have been very clear whats up and she is interested just timid. This makes me very happy and is an inspiration!
M 40 W 34 Together 7 Married 2 No Kids BD 1/18 need space Moved out 2/18 ILYBNILWY & Asked for D 3/18 W filed for D 6/18 D final 10/18
Flynn Steve? I don't get it LOL! Glad you think she is interested. I get that feeling from her too through little things she does and says in person but what gives you that impression?
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Oh nevermind LOL you said in like Flynn...I get it now...I misread your post. You seem pretty sure that I'm in. I'm curious why you feel that way.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Well everything you have said she has done and said. The negatives are just her wall but you are breaking it down slowly but surely. She is pursueing time with you and enjoying herself when she does it. You have been clear from what I can tell that you arent interested in getting friend zoned and that you have interest. If she wasnt considering it she would have totally shut you down...she left and did that already so you know she is capable of it. You are now over analyzing it...if this was a new woman you would be beaming now with confidence that this chick was totally into you. Become that confidence and wipe any doubt from your mind it is only a matter of time now.
M 40 W 34 Together 7 Married 2 No Kids BD 1/18 need space Moved out 2/18 ILYBNILWY & Asked for D 3/18 W filed for D 6/18 D final 10/18
I see. Well yes, provided she got the message on Monday when I told her I loved her the same way I always have. I would think she knew what I meant and she still followed through with yesterday. Even better she had a total blast. There were looks and sayings exchanged between us that we used to use when we were married. I guess that's to be expected. But yes, the tell tale for me was the lip kiss last night. She had her out from that since we just hugged previously. She could've just hugged me again but she opted for a farewell lip kiss. To me there's no way she would do that after what I told her Monday night if she was that against possible R down the road. That would be the last thing a woman would do if she wanted to send a strict friend zone message I would think. So I guess good progress was made. At least I feel like we are getting close again. I'm going to a baseball game Friday night and I'm thinking of asking her to go. Just wondering if it might be too soon ..especially if last night was an official date as Artista believes. WAW did want to stress it wasn't a date last Monday but it sure felt like one to me from beginning to end. Then she also made that date comment at the store. But I'm thinking of asking her to the game Friday. I want to try and keep this train rolling on a regular basis.
But I like your confidence in me Steve! Maybe it's because I'm in it that I don't see the things the way you see it but you do make sense! If I could see her interest level as clearly as you do I'd be in business but sometimes someone on the outside looking in can see things better because you seem pretty convinced she's interested in me.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
ItHurts, that all sounds wonderful! I'm so glad it went well!
My best friend is a man and trust me he'd never kiss me on the lips and I'd never do that to him. That would be gross. When someone does that it's a romantic gesture unless you're from Europe.
Hi Nicole, Yeah the kiss on the lips really threw me for a loop. I was not at all expecting that. Previously it's only been a hug and msyeb an "air kiss" next to my head but a full out kiss on the lips I was not expecting. Most people I've talked to mirrored your thoughts on it...that a kiss on the lips is not something a girl does to her guy friends. I'm also quite certain that WAW doesn't kiss her other guy pals on the lips. Also when I was walking her to her car and I grabbed her hand she said something like "I can see a little better now." so I let go of her hand but she immediately said "well you can still hold my hand." So I did. So yeah, I mean as much as you can read into a kiss on the lips...I'm pretty sure that was a significant development...if for no other reason than because after our talk teu Monday night before I don't think she would have done that... there's no reason for it...we've hugged every other farewell so why kiss me on the lips now considering the discussion we had 4 days prior? You can bet now that next time we go out I'm going in for another one ar the end of the night. When she did that, as far as I'm concerned, it's open season now.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
While we were at the bonfire party WAW did some things I forgot to mention... She kept playing with my ponytail. My hair has gotten much, much longer since she left...I used to have short hair and did my whole life but now it's long and in a ponytail. So she was teasing me about it and playing with it. She also kept...I guess some would call it "fussing"...over me. For example she would come over and pick something off my shirt. She had commented how she liked the shirt before we left but I forgot to include that then she said "It's white though. That means you're going to stain it with something before the end of the night!" I can't deny I tend to spill things or otherwise somehow stain my white shirts so she commented on that. Well later when she was "fussing" over me she saw a small piece of a cigarette ash stuck on me. Well instead of blowing on it which is what you're supposed to do...she rubbed it and made a tiny stain!!! So I joked back with her that I'm not taking responsibility for that stain at the end of the night. She also rubbed my back when I was coughing at one point too.
She also has been writing a book about her self esteem issues, her part in the failure of our marriage, the issues in our marriage, etc. She said she changed all the names but that she has started a new chapter. It's about being friends with the ex or not. When she told me about this she said that I'm probably not going to like parts of the book but that I turn out to redeem myself in this lastest chapter. I replied jokingly with "Oh that's so great to hear. I'll finally be able to sleep tonight." She laughed and said "Yeah you redeemed yourself."
So all this partnered with the kiss seems to be the start of more physical contact from her. She also said "Sorry, it's s habit" A LOT when she would do these little "married" things during the day.
Sorry I forgot to add this stuff before...it's hard to recount several hours with her in a few paragraphs without forgetting things. I'll keep you all posted with any new developments. No contact with her since she got home that night. Her wheels are turning since Saturday I think. She really had a ton of fun with me...and I suspect she may have had TOO good of a time and it's thrown her for a loop!
I'm also pretty sure now, looking back a few days later, that that kiss was totally intentional on her part. There was no reason for it as our lips haven't touched in over 4 years now. She, for whatever reason, wanted that kiss. What she's doing with it now is anyone's guess. We'll see what happens next...
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
