A familiar story with questions. VI

[RR17]

Not much new here. W and Ds came back from the beach. No kissing, but W gave me a big hug when they were leaving and I initiated one when they returned. FWIW

All has been good and clam except for D19's blow up when I was explaining to W that somehow we had blown through our shared data plan and that it could possibly be a setting on D15s new phone.
D19 is very strong-willed like her father and a typical teen that thinks she knows it all. Disrespectful outbursts insue.

Anyway, later it dawned on me that the argument may not even be about the data at all, but possibly the D19 hearing me speak to W and in her mind, gain control over the mother she has had in her palm for the last week. A power struggle if you will.
One of my pet peeves has been how W remains passive when Ds show disrespect. In the past, W has said that she didn't feel it was her place to get involved. IMO, it is an excuse to remain impartial and nonconfrontational. I have said that I would never alow them to talk to their mother that way.
This time I expressed my frustration and stated that I thought she should say something to D19. She agreed that she would. I have my doubts. People-Pleasers are the worst.

Later I explained my theory regarding this power struggle. W said, "Well, nobody controls me." I agreed. I also asked her to consider the dynamic.

Points is, W is making major changes in the respect department. Not just in regard to Ds or lip service to avoid confrontation. But in regards to letting me know what is going on and taking me into consideration (most of the time) when decisions are being made. Asking if I need anything at the store etc. Treating me better than a third wheel that gets in the way of The 3 Amigas. We watch movies that I pick out and W seems to genuinely enjoy my company. She seems to look forward to these intentional times together.

But still no intimacy. I have stopped trying to initiating. She takes some measures as to not taught me. If you know what I mean. And that is fine. Not optimal but I'll survive.

What I'm wondering is if this is some kind of control dynamic in its self.