This is why in the end the changes have to be for you or they will never stick. It is a mindset......when you hear the vets talk about there is a good possibility your spouse will wake and want to recon when your new you hang on to that hope. Eventually the hope starts to fade and you realize that if it is going to happen it will be after D has occurred.
Everyone’s spouse is different......some are more open to returning while others are not. The fight and the struggle is with yourself it is not with your W. You have to fight your urges, fight your temptations, fight backsliding on your hard earned changes, etc. Over time you begin to make the shift for your w to yourself......the quicker you do that the quicker you will begin to heal.
