It's Saturday afternoon here in sunny England, and I feel strong enough to tackle Meredith's steps. The discussion on crazymaking has been wonderful, but 12 years with the nuns (went to Catholic school) has nurtured an over developed sense of responsibility, and love for homework
Step 1: Acknowledge the addiction! My name is Slowly, and I am a crazymaker
Step 2: Identify when you crazymake and why I caught myself first at work, where in order to prove how valuable I was to the organisation, I'd let things develop into a crisis, then bust a gut to fix the sitch. In the past week, I've come to the realisation that to provoke any reaction from my passive/aggressive H, I've been crazymaking for YEARS, but more so since he confessed to a PA
Step 3: Accepting your behaviors (and your spouse's return behaviors) for what they ARE and not what they SEEM. Hmmm, tough one. Am I so lacking in self esteem that I need the manufactured sitch to create validation? Ugh. At home, mostly my crazymaking provokes NO response from H, which then triggers a nasty cycle of attention seeking, and him feeling cornered. BAD, BAD, BAD
Step 4: Discover ways to achieve your crazymaking goals without crazymaking Things at work are sorted. I stopped this crisis-creation a couple of years ago, confident that my contributions are accepted without me having to re-establish them every day At home, my self confidence is frankly at an all time low, so I need to exert extraordinary energies to not seek validation. sigh.
Step 5: Maintaining your own happiness in a state of rough or calm independently Working on this. Have come a long way in the past 6 weeks, but still very much work-in-progress
At home, my self confidence is frankly at an all time low, so I need to exert extraordinary energies to not seek validation. sigh. 
