Well Steve I think she knows that although we are broken up that Mary still tried to R with me so maybe she's feeling me out to see. I also just remembered and forgot to mention it in a previous post but WAW asked me at one point "Are you sure you shouldn't work things out with Mary? She seems to really love you." Once again I was a bit taken aback and once again said that that ship has sailed. This comment was a couple weeks back, not last night, but i had forgotten to mention it
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Yes Artista...that's exactly what I think she is struggling with. She sees me being all the things she wanted me to be back then. It annoys her it seems...at least on the surface level. It annoys her even more that other women are benefitting. But yes, it is always during the course of a conversation that I mention something like making dinner for Mary or going to see a band I don't necessarily care for that seems to get WAW in a snit. But she has also said things like she is so proud of me that I am a better man, etc. But yes, actions speak louder than words. I am what I am now and I'm proud of it...I am not the guy she walked out on because even I would have left him... and I told her that. I hate thinking of how closed minded I used to be, it is not a proud moment for me and I hate my old self. But the best revenge I can pay that part of me is to never be him again
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Well I talked to WAW yesterday and set up our meeting time today. So far today she hasn't cancelled and we're meeting up in about 3 hours so unless she does it at the last minute, it looks like she's going to the bonfire. I'll keep you all updated.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Thanks Artista, it's definitely on. She's on her way, coming to my place because she wants to see my/our cat since she hasn't seen her in 4 years. I'll let you guys know how it goes tonight. I have zero expectations except for me just being the new me as I would be if she wasn't with me. It should be a nice night.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Okay so things went really well yesterday. When WAW arrived at my apartment she got to see my/her cat. She was very happy. WAW also started pointing out all the things in my apartment that she remembered. Lamps, photos, etc. She remarked how I cropped her out of one of the pics we had taken with a celebrity that I had on my wall. We laughed about it and I said I had to because I like the pic. She said she really liked my apartment and remarked something like "I could do a lot in here with all this space." Then over the course of a few minutes she would say things about items I have like "Oh you still have this!" or "I remember this." etc. Then she told me she liked the shirt I was wearing. I made a point to wear something she's never seen before so that was a nice payoff that she noticed as it was just a plain white shirt, nothing fancy, but she noticed.
Then we left for the bonifre party. On the way there at one point my phone went off. WAW said something like "Oh are your ladies looking for you?" I laughed it off and said no. It was then that she did it AGAIN! She said "Well I can drop you off at Mary's after if you want." I again looked at her perplexed as I did on Monday night. She continued with something like Mary would be shocked if I dropped you off. I then took Artista's advice and replied "Mary doesn't know you." WAW replied , " well you could introduce me!" as she was laughing at her own remarks. I said that I don't understand why you keep bringing up Mary...that ship has sailed. She replied she was just teasing me. So I let it rest and we moved on to some other subject.
Once we arrived WAW reconnected with our old friends pretty quickly. All the wives, girlfriends were in the house and all the guys were outside so WAW would come our every 20 minutes or so and smoke a cigarette with me. Then as the nightime fell the fire was started. WAW and I sat together all night. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that WAW would look at me. We enjoyed the fire and talking with our friends until the party ended.
When it was time to leave WAW asked me to drive us home so I did. So we stopped at the store on the way back, I bought her some snacks and then we headed back to my place. When we got here she asked if she could use the bathroom and came in. She talked to the cat a bit and then asked me if I could walk her out to her car because the path from my apartment is very dark and she had some vision issues at night. So I held her hand and walked her to her car. When we got to her car she thanked me for such a fun night and hugged me and kissed me, this time on the lips. I told her to text once she got home safely and later she did. She said she would have stayed later but she needed to take her medication and it makes her sleepy. I told her yes it was a great night and to sleep well. She replied with you too and winking smiley. And that was that.
So today I am just processing everything. It seems like things went really well. I don't know if I am any closer to R with her or not...but as I've said in time that will all reveal itself one way or another. For now it was a good time and it was something other than hanging out at her house. I think the next fun event that comes up I am going to invite her. I think I need to try and keep doing these types of things with her. If R will ever be possible, it's going to be through continuing these fun "dates." It's funny, even though she said Monday it wasn't a date, when we were in the store last night and I was buying her snacks she said "See I'm an expensive date." I just laughed it off.
In any event, that's the latest chapter in my ongoing WAW story. Not sure if any progress was really made but we'll see what happens next once I figure out what my next move should be.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
At one point my friend was telling a story from our youth of how I was the only guy he knew who could have three girlfriends that all knew about each other and were fine with it. WAW said that's because he is such a charmer and a smooth talker. My friend said something like "oh I thought it was because he was hung like a horse." WAW replied "well that too!" and we all starting laughing. So once again she makes loose reference to my manhood LOL! Because she keeps bringing this up and how pleased she was with that aspect of me...I think there may be some deep seated sexual desire still there with her in regards to me. Hopefully eventually I can bring that to the surface. But I'm sorry, i could be way off here and maybe the ladies here can shed some light but it seems to me you don't talk about your ex's penis, much less compliment it, unless somewhere down inside her he still has some desire for me. She has done this repeatedly before as you all know, probably at least once during every visit with her...so there's something going on there too I suspect.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Well LH I don't know myself. She seems a bit too interested in my social life with other women, she gets in a snit whenever i mention things I do that I would never do with her, as mentioned above she like to compliment my sex, and s few other things that I sincerely doubt she does with her other guy "pals." I don't think she thinks she can have me whenever she wants though. She is sonically aware that I hang out with other ladies too. She also knows I work a ton so I don't get the sense from her that she thinks I am always available. In fact I'd go so far as to say it's the other way around now...I think she seems to always be available to me now. We've spent the last few Saturdays together for the most part. I also cancelled last Saturday because of work. So if anything I think she seems to be available to me now...she takes her own time to keep showing up where I am. She initiates everything save for this bonfire party. So I feel the opposite, that I can hang with her pretty much whenever I want. As far as her staying later last night...I didn't expect that anyway. We're not there yet. Maybe we never will be...who knows? But for now she has a clear desire to spend time with me and I feel her slowly getting closer to me. Of I hooked up with someone else tomorrow and said goodbye to her...I don think she'd be fine with that at this point. So I don't think she sees me as available to her whenever...she has a sense of respect for my social life and work life and she knows I only really have my weekends to come out and "play."
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
I think things went well... I would count this as the first "real" date... I believe you are taking the right approach... She has said she is not ready for a relationship, so you are right not to force the issue... If you are fine with that, then go ahead and have fun... No expectations... It could grow to be more...
