Whats something you could do to help with the depression? This may not be comforting but we often suffer the most in life holding onto expectations of what we think life should be, instead of reality. Is there any way you could re frame your current situation to better see the positives? I know its not easy, but its useful.
I could probably get into a house here, I could afford one but it may not be the best move for me financially. I did alot of thinking the last few months and realized its not the right time for me. I tell you what, sometimes knowing my ex gets the little cozy home with her bf while I'm in an apartment struggling alone gets to me. But then I try to take her out of the equation and look at what I have and I really do have so much to be grateful for.
All of my co-workers in my department own houses, pretty nice ones at that and since many of them are in relationships with someone who makes good also, I see them doing pretty well overall. If I compared this to my reality all the time it would eventually eat away at me. "Don't keep up with the Jones", I had to tell myself that after doing some real reflection and realizing a house wasn't in the cards for me now nor was it the best choice for several years. And honestly I found if I keep the thoughts of just me in my mind its easier to appreciate what I do have.
I understand this is only one of the things you have to worry about and I imagine some of the stress living with your mother causes you is intense, but you have mentioned the benefits. It pops out, you see the positives that life has given you now. Focus on whatever those are and let go of the things that may be outside of your control for now. AS we all know first hand life can change drastically in a short amount of time, who knows where any of us will be in a year.
As for NG, it sounds like you've decided its not working out, that's ok. Commitment is important, maybe it is most important. But that doesn't mean compatibility wont play a role. Be gentle with yourself
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
