Detaching / Dbing... Can I get to Piecing?

[Did]

So W had asked me to get dinner and get a drink and talk. She paid for D3 haircut and paid for a couple other items... she says you owe me a drink or something. I say sure let me know when youre ready. I had told her tonight I had an appointment finishing around when D3 gets to bed. Asked her if she still wanted to have a drink and mentioned Im free around 830 tonight. She responds - it feels like so much pressure.

I am in the midst of a job change and its a difficult decision. I asked if we could talk through it together. Mind you I am still the only one working in the family... so my job affects all of us. She knows the details of my work better than anyone. She said yes. So I stop by after work before my appointment to talk to her. She is all panicky and anxious can barely look at me at first. She says she can feel my stress and it triggers her... this is before I even said anything in the house except hi to D3.

So she couldnt handle the conversation in person and says she gets so anxious around D3. She did call me tonight and apologize but seemed to hate talking about a major life decision for me... as if its so stressful for her.

Last week I was at the beach with D3. W says she has so much to do has to be productive... turns out all she really did was go to lunch with a friend, go to dinner with a friend and decide she is going to sell her car and buy a used SUV. Oh she looked up how to start an LLC online... she is supposed to start a soil science business.

I am kind of appalled by her. Like who the F is this woman. She was such a great wife, smart, deep, I thought so highly of her. Now I am of the mindset I guess I have to give up / leave her alone until she heals or changes... if she ever does. I am going to go to as close to radio silence as I can for a month and see what happens. We have to communicate about D3. But this is getting ridiculous. The attachment is starting to fade although I wish things were different, I miss the conversation and tough, shared meals, drinks, laughs, companionship, shes beautiful and would love to have the chance to R... if she gets her sht together. I just doubt it happens. I dont want to be with a woman who is anxious anytime shes around her kids, wont get treatment or do anything to help herself, blames me for everything... having a child affected her so much. I want more kids... its pretty sad. Feel like I am probably going to end up another D statistic...

Anyway Im pretty sure I am leaving my job and going to a new on with another company. Its been a tough decision with a lot of families impacted by my choice... Current employer is going to be pissed but they dont treat me well, constant criticism, unappreciative, take me for granted, disrespectful.... sounds like a lot of our marriages until WAS leaves right?

Thanks all for the support.