Maika, I'm glad your state or province requires 12 months. I think that's how it should be everywhere. Then people like Arsh's husband can't just go and get divorced at the spur-of-the-moment within a few weeks. In any case you made it through those 12 months so that's a big achievement. It's still just bizarre what your wife has done but I guess that's the norm here on this forum. Nothing seems shocking anymore after what you read here!

I was self-reliant even through my teenage years, working from age 13 while still doing extra curricular activities and focusing on school. I paid all of my college and graduate school myself, worked in college to support myself, and I supported my husband financially for the first seven years. I was looking forward to having the freedom to start a unique consulting firm that would have created some fascinating partnerships in the area where we lived after my husband finally started working. It was pretty much the first time that someone was offering me some financial freedom and now that's all totally gone. Now it's back to being self-reliant again plus having a dependent. I guess it was only a beautiful dream, the life my husband promised me.

All, I do have a question that doesn't appear to have been discussed recently on this forum. Has anyone read about a parent - child relationship between married partners? I was thinking how this best defines how things were between my husband and I. I searched online and found many articles that define this relationship although not much that provides guidance on how to fix it. Because my husband came from overseas and I was the financial provider I had to teach him everything about life here and he always felt he had to ask me for money or permission for whatever he wanted to do. Then when we had our daughter I was literally a parent. He started to regress after our daughter was born and he's literally been like a teenager these past few years - irresponsible, rebellious, self-absorbed, materialistic, and private. I guess this is also how they describe a mid-life crisis but I do wonder if the dynamic between my husband and I was partly to blame. Perhaps I should have helped him become a refugee here in the US instead of marrying him so he can stay. Then I should have dated him while we lived separately and waited for him to build his career. Probably the time he left is the time we should have married - when he got a job. Maybe my husband is just an immoral cheater but my sense is if he would have been on his own from the beginning he wouldn't have taken me for granted or seen me as a parent figure. It's rare in the Middle East for men to live from their wives' salaries and stay at home while their wives work. Maybe we were doomed from the start. If we had just been dating and I found out he was with other women I would have just broken it off without tying his cheating with so many of my hopes and dreams derived from our married life. It's too late now, but I see what a risk it is to sponsor someone to come here on a visa no matter how great they seem. It doesn't change anything now, but I accept the blame for having been naïve and overly helpful toward someone who had no problem ditching me the minute a beautiful younger woman offered the opportunity for fun and recreation. Too bad we learn these lessons in life after we have kids and their lives are affected by our bad choices. I hope there will be some justice in the divorce process if that's our next step.