I haven't posted in a bit. I haven't really seen the point to as nothing new has really happened. If anything only more distance. Me and him have commicated but only in reference to his mother and only a few times. I feel as though my detachment is getting better and better as the days go on. I look at the situation differently now. It doesn't seem as though we will get back together. As devastating as it is for me, I still do hang o to hope, it's just not consuming me as much. I have been busy focusing on my goals and the kiddos. I still turn down dating. Still working on my own self reflection. I have a hard time blaming myself that it didn't work out. I do feel that I played a role in it do to being preggo and just upset with life. But I have to forgive myself and learn from it. In that regard, it's good that he left. I might not have seen it.
I do still believe that he loves me. I do. I just think that he is more scared that things will go back to bad would rather maybe find someone new. And that is his decision. I do have an inkling that he still thinks about coming back to me. He has so much stress in his life right now so it's best for me to leave him be.
