LoneWlf, I haven't read the book. I'll try to buy and read it. Thanks!
Maika, did you and your wife talk about staying separated for 12 months before divorce or does your state / province require a year long separation before you can file? It does sound better for you to look forward rather than backward here on the forum. Sure you can help those who are behind in the process but if that keeps reminding you of painful memories then it's great to look ahead and see how people are doing in the next stage. I think dropping the rope and moving ahead full-steam is the ideal but not everyone is capable of that when they're in a state of shock, denial, or sadness. It would be great to have that sense of resiliency. I'm sure there are some who have that, but they're probably not the ones who come to this forum. Those would be the ones who don't need this forum. Those who come here still want to save their marriages, but if less than 10% can be saved, then I can see why it makes more sense to face reality and just move on for those that can pull it off.
Arsh and Maika, let's consider the end of the survival stage to be when I start working full-time! Currently I don't know how we'll pay the bills beyond August. I subsidized with savings and retirement ever since our daughter was born so now we're at a critical stage. As soon as I can pay the bills on my own I'll feel that I've reached the end of the survival stage. I wasn't expecting my husband to lose his job and for me to be rushing to work full-time but it makes sense if my husband screwed up the rest of his life that he'd do the same to his career. But I am better off now than last fall. At least my health condition is managed better and I'm living in a better apartment and my daughter is adapting well. I'll post new developments as they happen.
