Can I really do this #4

[Dtrmned]

Steve,
I'm struggling. I don't want a D. Unfortunately (at least for the last 12 hours) I feel that if we stay in this state much longer, that we are going to despise and hate each other. Lots of blaming and then the bitter end of not doing anything then the struggle if i does happen that there is that much more emotion and perhaps one of us wanting to make it more difficult for the other. I don' t know if this is to ease my pain, everyone else's pain, or is it possibly the only path to:
1- get out prior to both of us hating each other.
2- quicker/cleaner/more amicable arrangement without the #1 involved turning into a bad #2 (yea, a funny)
3- Give my W the ability to experience life and the world. I only want her to be happy. My belief is that the world is a lot harder than she believes and this may cause her to reflect and look back. I wouldn't want her back due to just financial issues, but her realization that my contribution to our MR by dealing with the real world was just as much of a sacrifice of her being a SAHM. That our MR is a choice. That she would choose to R and look for a new MR. Odds are very low for this I know.

I am not looking for a magic bullet, a quick fix or anything. Just my W's attitude and comments of "I am so far across the line to even look back" is making it difficult to see a way. Pushing through with affirming the decision with our children. The reason I am posting here is to get some feedback. A lot of it comes from my own ability to look at it as I am posting. I'm not trying to sugar coat my posts or anything. I was a very angry man for a while and I don't know if my W would ever allow me back in again. Do I think we could rebuild? Yes. I just don't know how long or even the correct path that she needs. I also know it is not for me to decide her path and if it even includes me.