Steve, this hit home. The vacuum cleaner analogy describes H and I to a T. And I have been all that you describe, making my life all about him, taking for granted he will always be there, even telling him I would want to die first in old age because I cannot live without him. Old age, imagine that, we are not even 35 he is bailing out. I probably like most others thought that is what true love was. Our problem is that we never let our spouses be, we must have suffocated them with love. Although no person should ever discover all this about themselves through such a painful journey, there is definitely a lot to learn through this. As always I find your perspective very helpful- arshi
