Ok....date is set up for 6:30 tonight, I will pick her up. We are going to go to a nice restaurant and then to a comedy club afterwards. I am just going to focus on having fun, being in the moment, and not worrying about anything else I need to really focus on not putting pressure on myself.
On a side note my oldest had a volleyball game last night so I spent some time sitting next to my ex. I probably said 10 words the entire time, I had absolutely no desire to interact with her. The recent events seem to have shifted me from be friendly/talkative to really only wanting to be cordial and limiting as much contact as possible when we are around each other. I am sure she noticed but I really don't care and I doubt she cares either. She is going to do what she is going to do anyway so it is what it is.
Yeh, it's not OM's fault about what went down, but man, look at his character. Maybe I am old school, but that 'boy' got hooked up with a married woman who had just separated. I mean, his judgment is out of whack. And we know her's is hanging out somewhere in the weeds too. As I contemplate getting out into the dating world, I would NEVER EVER date a woman who hasn't spent enough time being separated/divorced and figured herself out. I feel like after going through this and understanding the WAW/WW behavior, I can probably figure out if I am some wild ride for a woman or if she's being genuine.
I am glad you're not being chummy with exW. All I care is being civil and that's it. No chit-chat. No jokes, No sharing nothing. Go about your business and you know you can hold your head up high always because of your integrity and how you carried yourself during all of this.
I know M....I have thought about his character and him buying my girls t-shirts. Obviously he is wanting to impress but something tells me my EW is a huge catch to him and he really trying to latch on.
Yeah well, in that case, it's not going to end well. If they're trying to latch on, oh boy, we know that's going to start a sad co-dependency cycle. And no one is going to win in that situation. I just think about how people find and hang on to other vulnerable people and how that feeds the cycle of insecurity for both and before they know it, they've found themselves in the same spot they were trying to get away from. It's sad.
Honestly, I am glad to hear that you have no interest in taking her back with the way things stand.
As I contemplate getting out into the dating world, I would NEVER EVER date a woman who hasn't spent enough time being separated/divorced and figured herself out.
I wish I had read that 14 years ago when I fell head over heels for a woman who was still in a relationship which she ended to be with me, although she convinced me the relationship had been dead for a while.
Now I am the one in the "dead relationship for a while" and she is off to get her next fix.
As I contemplate getting out into the dating world, I would NEVER EVER date a woman who hasn't spent enough time being separated/divorced and figured herself out
You will run into people that are on your same timeline. Fresh off of a D, putting themselves out there for the first time. They are just as nervous as you are. IMO the ladies can tell who is a seasoned dating vet vs someone that is new at the game. The girl I am going out with tonight is on the same timeline I am so I have a certain comfort level with her. I feel like I can be a little more open than what I would with someone who has been D'd for 5 years.
Either way I would recommend taking any dates as long as you feel some level of attraction. If nothing else it is good practice for when you find that lady that just sets the moon.
M - IDK if I am blazing it LOL but I can tell you it is difficult after being with the same person for 17 years. When you grow old together there are things about that person that you overlook. The physical changes after your W/EW having children don't bother you, over time it isn't that important. We change to you know?
The funny thing is that while you might give your W or yourself a pass when you are single again it is hard to give someone that pass especially when your eyes are wide open and your putting yourself back out there again. Sometimes I feel like I am in my 20's again but at my age everyone has some sort of baggage and imperfections.
Thanks KML.......I thought getting the laughter going would be a good thing
I'm a really creepy old guy with a preference for beautiful women in their mid-twenties who are educated, fun loving, witty, passionate and faithful. And, they need to have a well paying job. I'm having difficulty finding real women of substance for friendship, dating and possibly marriage. Do you have any suggestions?
I need to really focus on not putting pressure on myself.