Thanks LW, ovrrnbw, ballast and Maika. It makes a huge difference when I see there are others who support me and share my pain. I read replies here multiple times in a day, I must have read Blu’s at least 20 timesby now. All your support and encouragement gives me strength so thanks so much There are a lot of red flags I realize that. A quick D without even an attempt at saving MR, secret phone usage, losing weight, more emphasis on dressing these are all glaring in my face. At this point denial is more of a decision on my part. It is easier to be strong if I think of him as an irresponsible immature individual rather than a cheat, I have decided to let him be innocent unless proven guilty. These are all conscious decisions with all the facts leering at me. Either way, the kids and I don’t need a broken unsure him. We want a strong husband, father, a respectable family man. What he has in us is what most people would kill for. Good incomes, healthy adorable children, a beautiful, loyal, intelligent wife (oh ya I have always been out of his league had forgotten it with self pity last few months), a great home All in all a piece of heaven, if he has decided it’s not for him then we will carry on with our summer picnic until he gets back to his senses. Even today I still want him back and always intend to. But for now like you folks point out , I am letting him go live his fantasy and realize what he has lost. The way back home will be paved but there will be self improvement speed bumps for both of us to get back to a healthier place
