We didn't mean to reduce you to tears with this stuff!
I see a fallacy I just want to point out, for old times sake.
Just because someone tells you something does not make it true. Just ask any guy here if they agree with what your mom told you was reality...
My brother prefers Asian women, Mr. W. prefers tall leggy brunettes (wow, that's me!), and my colleague prefers short, cute guys. Uh oh! What does that do to your theory????? That attraction is individual and cerebral and not at all what your mom told you was true?
I think you have just got a foundation that is based on what other people have told you is important and made those values your own.
Karen, do you see how confusing this is?
If you were to write your own epitaph, what would you be saying? What would you want it to say? Then write the steps down to get there.
I used to be the queen of negative self talk. It sucks! Even worse? Nobody around me believed what trash I told myself was true... so that makes me a liar, doesn't it? And definitely a fool.
You know what it took to get me to stop telling myself crappy stuff? I had to put a note on my vanity mirror that said something nice each day. Like "Betsey, you are pretty." OR "Betsey, you're a good friend." OR "Betsey, you are intelligent." And sad to say, it had to begin with my college roommate, who was the first one to put notes to me on our mirror so that I would begin to believe them.
She lives an hour from me, and has a developmentally disabled son a little younger than D7... and I love her more than you will ever know for being brave enough to make me work for this, Karen.
Now I've been guilty of screwing up that process now and again, but for the most part, I like who I see in the mirror every morning. That lady who looks back at me has integrity, virtue, and a whole lot of other good stuff that I'm proud of.
It's tough, it really is. But I don't want my D10 growing up having to do the same damn homework I did. IT SUCKS!
Karen, I'm sure everyone here is sick of hearing about me dictating goals and lists. But you know what? They work for me. I have to see things in black and white so I have a plan to follow. If I put, "Betsey, stop and think before talking", you can bet your mortgage I'm going to pay attention to that note.
So, pick something to start doing or stop doing today. And put yellow stickies all around you until it becomes a habit. BTW, my vanity mirror was covered with those doggone things until I internalized them. I thank God for giving me a wonderful friend who walked every step of that journey with me. Now I get to pay her back by walking with her on her own with her son.
Go get 'em!
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
