And what would an example of 3 be? My h wants to go out with his friends. In our eyes, it SEEMS that he doesn't want to be w/us/would rather be w/his friends/etc. However, what it IS is the NORMAL need to want to have a little independence & individuality from your spouse/wanting to be with friends/wanting to be able to let it all hang out b/c when they are around us, they have to walk on eggshells!!
My childhood sitch is similar to Myrrhs. My dad was very aggressive/violent/loud/verbal/nasty. I never knew when he was going to be mad. So, I would run around like a chicken w/my head cut off trying to "please" him and trying to be a most "agreeable" child. So, one day something would work, the next day it wouldn't. Go figure. Poor little girl just doesn't know what to do!
Furthermore, my mom instilled in my head that ALL men are @ssholes, and not to be trusted, that I must be happy-go-lucky at ALL times for a man to want to be around me, to put out to get "attention/affection/love/guys to want me," and that petite w/big boobs is the body type that ALL men want. (I'm 5'11" 140#, with a B!!)
So, I've gotten it from all directions.
Yes, I want to c-make, so I feel noticed, get attn, feel real, feel loved. But, it is such an oxymoron. AND, numty tells me that he WILL give me what i want if i QUIT crazymaking, and have some PATIENCE in him.
what gives? what will it take for me to GIVE IT UP??? I've got enough insight to fill a dump-truck, but what good does it do me, b/c the end result is that I have not been changing my BEHAVIOR very well and have driven a serious wedge in my r with the greatest person I have ever known! He's my frickin' pillar of strength.
Ok, bringing tears to my eyes, gotta stop. love you. karen812
