Nicole - an external observer can look at someone's sitch and do that concise summary because they can see the bigger picture. The smaller details are important for the process, but the larger elements indicate the achievements and success.
I have also appreciated your support on my threads and I am glad that you've stuck around so that we've been able to see your journey and transformations along the way.
I won't start a new thread unless something major changes happen in my sitch. I've come to a grounded place and now I am just biding time to make sure my emotions match my thinking and when that's in alignment, I will file for D. W sent me a text a few days ago and it was jarring and I got some anxiety for a couple of seconds when I saw the notification flash on my phone. It quickly went away, but because our communications are so sparse, it kinda jolted me to see her send me a message.
So, I thought about that for a while to see why I might've reacted that way. I believe it was because the 12 months separation are up and I guess I am just waiting for a message to come from her about D. I think it was subconscious but my reaction allowed me to do some introspection. I haven't reacted to her message like that previously. But once I understood why I reacted that way, it allowed me to relax and just examine the issue of D a bit more closely and see how I really feel about it. Part of me wants to just file and get it over with, but that's coming out of a place of impatience and being tired. I am not trying to achieve perfection in this process, but I don't want to do it half-a$$.
I am not planning to disappear, but I definitely will be spending less time here in the coming months. All the newcomer stories are disheartening and it sometimes takes me back to BD and how that went down for me and how I felt. I spend some more time on the Surviving section to read up on what's life like after D. I am so close to that and it makes sense to read up there.
After a year, and when I read other posters who come back and give a few nuggets, one thing that has really stuck with me is how this would be so much better for the LBS if they dropped the rope and moved ahead with their life full steam. I know it's hard because it's such an emotional time for the LBS that they can't engage in that right away. That would be my advice to anyone looking to make sense of all of this and find some peace.
Anyways, continue on your path and make that life for yourself. You have passed the survival stage, and now it's time to thrive and shine.
