Betsey...Pam...you may want to jump in here because I'm coming up with these steps as I go! But...I'll take a swing at #3!

Step #3:
Accepting your own behaviors and your spouse's return behaviors for what they ARE and not what they SEEM.

Homework: list out the behaviors that SEEM awful and identify them for what they ARE. Both for you and your H.

"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere." --Agnes Repplier, writer and historian