Blu and Arsh, There just has to be someone out there who Arsh's husband met. Perhaps he doesn't want to have an affair so he put everything on hold and said "let me get divorced and then I'll call you" or something like that. Or perhaps he simply met someone for a night and it opened his eyes to all these new possibilities and made him re-think his whole life. There must have been a trigger. Why did he choose BD at that particular time? Sure having a newborn is stressful and it's tempting sometimes to imagine another life but to suddenly just need an immediate divorce??!!
I remember Arsh you saying that your husband doesn't want to get separated first because he doesn't want to give you any hope. My husband used those same words the week before he took his girlfriend off to Dubai on a celebratory trip.
Blu, I'm curious as to how you think our husbands differ? I can take a guess. Mine is just totally out-of-control in all aspects of his life and has years of history now behaving this way. Arsh's husband sounds like he's still holding down a stable job and caring for the kids. Arsh's husband changed overnight with no prior track record of this behavior. Still, they both came from overseas and married before they got a chance to experience single life in the US (or Canada or wherever Arsh lives). They might both have regrets about "missing out." I have no idea because I've spent way too much time trying to figure out my own husband and I still can't.
Arsh, the good thing is there appears to be total consensus on this forum that your husband isn't leaving because you were too controlling or because you didn't support him enough while he was depressed. Hopefully the collective knowledge of this forum helps in at least reinforcing the fact that you are a responsible mom and wife and you've done everything you can to try to stop this divorce. It seems you've done everything you can do. If you stay busy for a year or two I bet one day you'll get a knock on the door or a surprise phone call and guess who will be sorry?! It's worth addressing with your new IC what you'll do if and when that happens. For now, it seems there's nothing more you really need to do. Perhaps mourn the finalization of the divorce and your husband's move-out and then figure out the best routine for your girls going between you and your husband.
I can tell you I've been doing everything as a single mom 100% on my own and it's possible even though I doubt anyone would choose this as their preferred way of raising kids. It's a strange feeling to make decisions on your own, especially related to choices you make for your children. It takes a while to get used to it. I'm sure there are plenty of members here who will support you during this next stage as well.
