This post sounds exactly the way I feel. In my case the answer to all of those questions is the A with OM. Her entire personality, and who she is has completely changed. She has always been an amazing mom, but now she barely sees our son, though she wanted full custody in the separation agreement, which I categorically refused to agree to.
You need to focus on improving yourself, beat the depression and be the best version of you that you can possibly be. I know how hard that is to see and do, but if you can do that and she still doesn't choose to come back to you, then you know that you deserve better. Don't give up hope, but DO give up the expectation that your W will come around.
Me: Late 30s WW: Late 30s M: 12 S: 7 BD: Late April '18 (Wife left next day) OM confirmed: July '18 (20+ years older)
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. - Psalms 34:18